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    Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe
    magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product
    for Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandling.
    "The idea came to me the other day when a homeless man asked me for
    money," recalls Gates. "I suddenly realized that we were missing a golden
    opportunity. Here was a chance to make a profit without any initial
    monetary investment. Naturally, this man then became my competition, so I
    had my limo driver run over him several times."
    Microsoft engineers have been working around the clock to complete Gates'
    vision of panhandling for the 21st century.
    "We feel that our program designers really understand how the poor and
    needy situation works," says Microsoft Homeless product leader Bernard Liu.
    "Except for the fact that they're stinking rich."
    Microsoft Panhandling will be automatically installed with Windows 95. more...

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