Skirt Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman with huge breasts
was out for a walk when she was jumped by a man holding a gun. When he
motioned for her to take off her blouse, she warned him he'd regret it, but he
insisted. Next he made her take her bra off, and when a giant set of tits
popped into view he began to get incredibly excited. "Take your skirt off," he
demanded, ignoring her warnings that he leave off. So, off came the
skirt, and then the panties, revealing an equally huge pussy, green and slimy
and swarming with bugs. Shocked and repelled, he stepped back and dropped the
gun to the ground. Grabbing the gun, the woman pointed it at him, smiled
broadly, and commanded, "Eat Me."

Mary had a little skirt
Split right up the sides,
And every time she wore that skirt
The boys could see her thighs.
She also had another skirt
Split right up the front
But she never wore that one

Her precocious six-year-old daughter came tugging at the mother's skirt, asking, "Mommy, can I have a baby?"
"Of course not, dear," the mother replied, without missing a stroke in her ironing.
"Are you sure?" the little girl persisted.
"Certainly," said the mother.
As she ran to rejoin her playmates in the yard, the child called out, "OK, fellas, same game!"

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his more...

A hot, long legged, voluptuous, tight assed, girl with long blonde hair, wearing the smallest skirt you've ever seen and the tightest see-through top, walks into a bank. She walks to the middle and from under her skirt pulls out a gun and tells everybody, ""This is a robbery. Stick 'em up."
All the guys looked at her but just stood there.
She says, "Do as I say, stick 'em up now."
The men reply, "Oh believe us, they are up."

The weeper
"You all hate me" is the typical line used by the weeper numerous times during the party. She is likely to spend most of the evening in the rest room holding the hand of a friend, who is patiently listening to her anguish, tears, and whiny vomiting. The weeper is a phase most girls go through when they get drunk for the first time every year.
The DAMP child
She is the cheerful type who does excessively energetic cartwheels and juggles beer bottles while claiming "I'm not drunk, I'm just in a really good mood", even though her eyes are rolling around in her head and her cheeks are blushing. She is simply impossible to bear in the long run and is likely to be sent into the kitchen to do the dishes. This type may turn into the weeper during the late hours.
Biker chick
This type goes into macho mode when she gets drunk. She becomes boastful and loud and belches a lot. She usually hangs out with the guys shocking them with foul-smelling, more...

In downtown Roanoke, at a crowded bus stop, a good friend of mine was waiting for her bus. She's very attractive and was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more more...