Skirt Jokes / Recent Jokes
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls," and would his mother,"please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." So johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. - first, johnny, I want you to take off my blouse. So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. - ok, now take off my skirt... And he takes off her skirt. - now take off my bra. Which he does. - and now, johnny, please take off my panties. And when johnny finishes removing those, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"
What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt?
A hot, long legged, voluptuous, tight assed, girl with long blonde hair, wearing the smallest skirt you've ever seen and the tightest see-through top, walks into a bank. She walks to the middle and from under her skirt pulls out a gun and tells everybody, ""This is a robbery. Stick 'em up."
All the guys looked at her but just stood there.
She says, "Do as I say, stick 'em up now."
The men reply, "Oh believe us, they are up."
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his more...
A woman with huge breasts
was out for a walk when she was jumped by a man holding a gun. When he
motioned for her to take off her blouse, she warned him he'd regret it, but he
insisted. Next he made her take her bra off, and when a giant set of tits
popped into view he began to get incredibly excited. "Take your skirt off," he
demanded, ignoring her warnings that he leave off. So, off came the
skirt, and then the panties, revealing an equally huge pussy, green and slimy
and swarming with bugs. Shocked and repelled, he stepped back and dropped the
gun to the ground. Grabbing the gun, the woman pointed it at him, smiled
broadly, and commanded, "Eat Me."
I had been dating this really cool guy for like 2 weeks, and we finally went out.
We saw "the RING" and i was totally freaked, and I had ordered a HUGE pop, and drunk it all.
Anyway, we were really snuggling tight, like our legs were wrapped around each other, and such. Of course, I had to pee bad, but I didnt want to interupt our snuggling, as it might result in, when I got back, not re-snuggling, so I didnt.
At one point, there was this sudden, out of nowhere, loud noise, and it freaked me out, and, as you've probably guessed, I peed.
But, it wouldnt stop. It was really bad.
I was wearing a skirt and so, afer drenching my undies, it trickled down my legs, and since his legs were wrapped around mine, it trickled down his, too...
When he felt it, he jumped up, saw my wet skirt, and yelled, "Did u just pee all over me?" which caused a HUGE disturbance as everyone turned to look at me. He goes, "Well??!!" so I hav to tell him yes and more...
In downtown Roanoke, at a crowded bus stop, a good friend of mine was waiting for her bus. She's very attractive and was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more more...