Shakespeare Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and more...

    Exam Answers

    Hot 8 years ago

    Andy:- Please note the GCSE's are public exams taken by 13 year olds in UK
    This is an indication of the wonderful future that awaits the UK... the level of answers in GCSE exams!
    This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers...
    1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
    2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
    3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
    4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
    5. The Greeks were a highly more...

    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

    The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...

    Good Ev'nin America! I, George Dubya Bush, confess that I wrote the Shakespeare plays. First of all, I'm very intellentifull. I didn't mean to confusinate you, but I'm just that smart. Do not misunderestimate me because I can't prononunce n-n-n-uclar -you know what I mean. Shakespeare was in my axis of evil, so I wrote the plays. I mean, who would write plays like "A Homedy of Terrors, Nothing to Say about Something, The Naming of my Poo, Porklet, and A Late Winter's Ice Cream?" I must also give credit to my Secretary of State, Donald Rumpelstiltskin for playing an interceptun on my fumble.

    Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice:
    "Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare."
    Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. The night of the play it was his turn to speak. This is what he said:
    "Hark! A pigeon shit! There lies a lady with soap in her hole. I think I'll kiss her snatch and run into the forest. By William Snakeshit... Horseshit... Oh, shit! I didn't want to be in this damn play anyway!"

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