Seuss Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
    then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
    says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
    but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
    that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
    and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
    so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
    then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
    'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
    When the copy of your more...

    Review: The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3.95 The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetryin which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes andbold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably GreenEggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower WithMommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under thepseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freudin a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two youngchildren understand their own frustrated sexuality.The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through thewindow of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, alarge tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, tauntingthe children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexualyearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to themost unlearned reader, the blatant references to theincestuous relationship the two share more...

    Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer
    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
    If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
    then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
    If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
    says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
    but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
    that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
    and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
    so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
    then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
    'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
    When the more...

    IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -
    Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
    But... there are problems that can't wait!
    Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
    But Ross and Susan just won't do!
    Now who do you think that we should hire,
    Since both of them today I'll fire?
    Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...
    Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...
    Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...
    But the paramedics just pulled up.
    Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?
    Shep: This little boy has just been shot!
    His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.
    We did all we could to stop the leak.
    Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip...
    Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?
    Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair,
    So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.
    Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!
    Doug and Susan! Come with me!
    Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?
    We've more...

    Read this as if it were a Dr. Seuss story. Enjoy!!
    I am Starr.
    Starr I are.
    I'm a brilliant barri-star.
    I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-ski?
    Did you grope her in your house?
    Did you grope beneath her blouse?
    Did she give you gifts and ties?
    Were you spied by prying eyes?
    I did not do that here or there!
    I did not do that anywhere!
    I did not do that in a chair!
    I went not near her giant hair!
    I did not join-even for fun,
    The Mile High Club in Air Force One.
    So stow your feathers and your tar.
    I did not do her, Starr you are!
    Did you smile?
    Did you flirt?
    Did you peek beneath her skirt?
    And did you tell the girl to lie, When called upon to testify?
    That is it; you've gone too far!
    I do not like you, Starr you are!
    I will not answer any more!
    In fact, I think I'll start a war!
    The public's easy to distract,
    When bombs are falling in Iraq!

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