"President Clinton's Testimony by Dr. Seuss" joke

Hot 6 months ago

President Clinton's Testimony
by Dr. Seuss

I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar

I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park

I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate

I did not do it at a dance
I did not do it in her pants

I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face

I never did it in a bed
If you think that, you've been misled

I did not do it with a groan
I did not do it on the phone

I did not cause her dress to stain
I never boinked Saddam Hussein

I did not do it with a whip
I never fondled Linda Tripp

I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey

There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher
I chased her' round, but could not catch her
No kinky stuff, not on your life
I wouldn't, even with my wife

And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes

And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poopers
I did not ask my friends to lie
I did not hang them out to dry

I did not do it last November
But if I did, I don't remember

I did not do it in the hall
I could have, but I don't recall

I never did it in my study
I never did it with my dog, Buddy

I never did it to Sox, the cat
I might have-once-with Arafat

I never did it in a hurry
I never groped Ms. Betty Currie

There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One

I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal

But never did these things so lewd
At least, not ever in the nude

These things to which I have confessed
They do not count, if we stayed dressed
It never happened with cigar
I never dated Mrs. Starr

I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN

I broke some rules my Mama taught me
I tried to hide, but now you've caught me
But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, do not impeach

I might have got a little tail
But never, never did inhale

IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -
Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
But... there are problems that can't wait!
Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
But Ross and Susan just won't do!
Now who do you think that we should hire,
Since both of them more...

The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a limo, then took a more...

Read this as if it were a Dr. Seuss story. Enjoy!!
I am Starr.
Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-ski?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give more...

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