Salleh Jokes

Is this your first trip to Malaysia? Are you a tourist, a businessman or a Mat Salleh expatriate waylaid from the safe haven of Bangsar? If you are, here's some lessons to help you along Lesson 1 You have just landed in Subang International Airport and the first thing you want to do is to call your Malaysian friend. If you're calling him at home or at the office, the first thing to say on the phone is "Eh, what you doing?". If you're calling him on the handphone (cellular phone) the standard greeting is "Eh, where are you?" Lesson 2 Your Malaysian friend has graciously offered to pick you from the airport. He said "Give me half an hour?", be prepared to wait at least one and a half hours. This is probably your first (of many) encounter with Malaysian Timing. There's no need to adjust your watch. Whatever time a Malaysian tells you, just add (minimum) one hour, and you won't go wrong. Lesson 3 You have no friends in Malaysia (yet) and you decide to take a more...

One day, one Mat Salleh from USA arrived in Subang Airport. After he checked out from the Custom, he felt that he wanted to go to the toilet, so he looked for a toilet. When he found the toilet, there was an old lady sitting in front of the toilet. When he was about to enter the toilet, the old lady stopped him and said forty cents in Cantonese (Say Kok), the Mat Salleh just wonder why in Malaysia, they have to "see the cock" (forty cents in Cantonese) before entering the toilet. So he said "No", but the old lady insisted. Since he got no choice, he took out his cock and showed to her. The old lady said "no, no, no, Duit, Duit" (money in Malay) but the Mat Salleh misunderstood again because he thought she said "DO IT, DO IT." So, he asked "NOW, HERE?" The old lady just reply "YES, YES" because she does not understand English. The Mat Salleh thought she agreed to have sex with him, so he strip up the old lady and make love to more...