Rolling Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the difference between a Scottish man and a member of the Rolling Stones? A member of the Rolling Stones says, "Hey you! Get off my cloud!" The Scot says, "Hey McCloud, get off my ewe!"

Dear Jokers who provide Yo mama jokes,
Please do not post yo mama jokes previously posted in this Joke Page.
It's a waste of your time, our time and bandwith.
Please read the following collection of YO MAMA SO FAT' jokes. Future
jokers, read this and if you can find something new about the fat mama
then submit your joke. (OLD MAMA, TALL MAMA, POOR MAMA etc.
will follow)
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat. . . she's fat!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat I'm more...

(Brad, granted this is old, but I hadn't heard it in a while and smirked at it:)
A farmer decides that his 3 sows should be bred, and contacts his buddy
down the road, who owns 3 male pigs. They agree on a stud fee, and the
farmer puts the sows in his pickup and brings them down the road to the
males. He leaves them all day, and when he picks them up that night, asks
the man how he can tell if it 'took' or not. The breeder replies that
if, the next morning, the sows were grazing on grass, they were pregnant,
but if they were rolling in the mud as usual, they probably weren't...
Comes the morn, the sows are rolling in the mud as usual, so the farmer
puts them in the truck and brings them back for a second full day of
frolic. This continues for a week, since each morning the sows are
rolling in the mud.
About the sixth day, the farmer wakes up and tells his wife, "I don't
have the heart to look again. This is getting more...

Your husband is rolling on the floor gasping for air. What does it mean?
It means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough

I know for a fact that the following examples of idiocy are true, because I myself was witness to their occurance.
In 1989, I was working in a state office in Kansas. It was right after the 1988 George Bush Presidential campaign.
Well, one day we had been talking about pork rinds (if you'll remember, George Bush was a great fan of the greasy snack food at the time), and our supervisor brought in a big bag.
My deskmate was chowing into them like there was no tomorrow. I said, "Gee, I guess you really like Bush's favorite snack!"
She responded, "Bush who?"
I said, "*George* Bush, Gina!"
She said, "Who's he? Does he work here?" (rolling eyes) Of course, George Bush was the President of the United States by this time...
Same office, a few months later.
There was an article in the newspaper during the summer of 1989 decrying the fact that United States high school seniors had a very poor knowledge of geography. I was more...

Two blondes were walking down the road. One of them picked a stone and put it near her ears. The other blonde ask her what she's doing?
She replied' 'I'm listening to rock''.
Then she started to roll the stone.
The other asked "What are you doing now?"
She replied "Listening to rolling stones."

Q: Whats the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"