Rental Jokes / Recent Jokes
Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Remove every line of someone`s. newsrc file except the entry for alt. sex. fetish. hamster. duct-tape.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people`s backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet more...
Actual feedback card:
(E) Enterprise Rent-a-Car
Comments or Questions?
Should you have any comments, questions or concerns about your rental, please contact the manager where you rented your vehicle. If after doing so, you are still in need of assistance, kindly call me at (301) 670-8649 or complete and mail the following comment card - Your thoughts are always welcome and appreciated.
Thank you,
Edward L. McCarty
President/General Manager
Your rental cars are entirely insufficient for any type of pursuit situation. Cornering in city streets at any speed over 50 miles per hour results in excessive tire slippage and near overturning.
Were it not for my superior driving ability, the irate Iranian clerk and police cruisers surely would have apprehended me. Fortunately, portions of the exhaust system fell in the cruiser's path.
Is it really to much to ask that your cars be capable of speeds over 110 miles per hour? Over my entire trip of some 1800 miles more...
I once got hired for a "wonderful" new job! And here is the "wonderful" note I found attached to my "wonderful" first paycheck:
PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our new employees better understand their paychecks:
Item Amount Gross pay $1,222.02
Income tax $244.40
Outgo tax $45.21
State tax $11.61
Interstate tax $61.10
County tax $6.11
City tax $12.22
Rural tax $4.44
Back tax $1.11
Front tax $1.16
Side tax $1.61
Up tax $1.08
Down tax $1.14
Tic-Tacs $1.98
Thumbtacks $3.93
Carpet tacks $0.98
Stadium tax $0.69
Flat tax $8.32
Surtax $2.23
Ma'am tax $1.23
Corporate tax $2.60
Parking fee $5.00
F.I.C.A. $81.88
T.G.I.F. $9.95
Life insurance $5.85
Death insurance $12.09
Health insurance $16.23
Dental insurance $4.50
Mental insurance $4.33
Disability $2.50
Ability $0.25
Liability more...