Registered Jokes / Recent Jokes
BRAIN - SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered.
CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report!
NUMBER ONE: Sir! We're picking up loud music.
CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep!
NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it's "The Last Train to Clarksville."
CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured?
NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction.
CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on.
NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness... darkness... Wait, there's a
woman sleeping there.
CENTRAL: A woman?
NUMBER ONE: Sir, Libido Station wants to know if it is Anna Kournikova.
CENTRAL: Forget about Libido. What can you tell me?
NUMBER ONE: Sir, Memory reports a near perfect match to "wife," sir.
CENTRAL: Well of course. Keep looking.
NUMBER ONE: Sir, urgent report from Stomach on the horn, do you want to take it?
CENTRAL: Stomach, what's going on?
STOMACH: Sir, we've taken a more...
Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol By Vince Sabio HumourNet Communications, Ltd. REDMOND, Wash (UPI) - Software and marketing giant Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) announced today that it has purchased the rights to the well-known "trademark" symbol, formerly denoted as "tm" in most print media. The symbol is commonly used to identify commercial product names that have not yet been registered with the U. S. Patent and Trademark Office. "It was a natural," commented John Schexnader, of Microsoft's Ministry of Information. "Several of us were sitting around after a board meeting a few months ago, and we were talking about what we should buy next. We were tossing around the idea of purchasing a country or two in South America, as kind of a follow-up to Sun Microsystems' trademark-infringement claim against The Island Formerly Known As Java, when it occurred to us that there are no countries named' ActiveX.' We talked about changing the name of' more...
Very Short Lists: 1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups11) List of Battered Men's Help Groups12) List of Cuban registered voters13) List of Libyan registered women voters14) List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers15) List of Libyan women lawyers16) List of Libyan women with PHD's17) List of Libyan Women Service Clubs18) List of interstate Highways with no Numbers19) List of U. S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut20) List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls21) List of People who have been in a UFO and are not crazy22) List of People who can whistle while drinking beer23) List more...
The new tax system is full of acronyms which makes it more difficult for the average taxpayer to grasp. The following is a simple succinct appreciation of the new system.
The new system is NUTS the New Universal Taxation System and although it may appear to be complicated, it is easy to understand.
Basically, it is STUFFT the Simplified Tax Unit For Financial Transactions.
Major elements of NUTS include a number for each business entity an Australian Business Utilisation Number (ABUN) which will be used during dealings with governments at all levels.
Every business in Australia will get ABUN with NUTS. The new system will simplify the way businesses report to the Australian Taxation Collection Head Office Organisation (ATCHOO) Businesses will be required to complete a Business Activity Statement Table And Report Directive (BASTARD) every month.
Businesses should set aside at least three days every working week to fill the BASTARD more...
Very Short Lists:
1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors
2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran
3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery
4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service
5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus
6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes
7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services
8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's
9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops
10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups
11) List of Battered Men's Help Groups
12) List of Cuban registered voters
13) List of Libyan registered women voters
14) List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers
15) List of Libyan women lawyers
16) List of Libyan women with PHD's
17) List of Libyan Women Service Clubs
18) List of interstate Highways with no Numbers
19) List of U.S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut
20) List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls
21) List of People more...