Puns Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh's daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years.Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A: 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen, "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson; he brought the house down.Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, more...
A mother firefly was taking her children for a walk near dusk, and they came to a dark woods. "All right, kids," she ordered, "line up, and whatever happens, don't shine your
light. There are owls in the forest and they might fly down and eat you!" The small fireflies did as they were told, with the youngest firefly at the end of the line. As they were moving carefully along, suddenly the mother saw a light far back. "Stop!" she whispered. "Who lit the light back there?" "I did," admitted the youngster. "You heard what I told you," scolded the mother. "Why did you disobey?" "Well," said the little one, "when you gotta glow, you gotta glow."
Two guys were standing inside a building of a local theme park. They were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day.The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4'10"& 90 lbs) and she was having a rough time trying not to be blown away.When she asked her manager what she should do, he replied: "You have a warm down jacket don't you? Well put rocks in all the pockets!"Then a minister, who was standing nearby, suggested she say a little prayer to ask the Lord to help her cope with the wind.The park clown then sugggesed she could kill two birds with one stone by saying the prayer she said each night. He said, "You know, the one that goes:' Now I weigh me down to sweep...'"
A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics: are you the fish fryer? Oh, no, the cleric answers, I'm the chip monk!
Q: What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
A: Hop in.
A physics professor at a state university in Michigan was famous for his animated lectures. He was short and thin with wild white hair and an excited expression. In lecture he would through himself from the
top of desks and throw frisbees to students in the back row to illustrate various principles.One day in class he was spinning on an office chair holding weights in each hand when he lost his balance and tumbled into the first row.He apologized to his class for going off on a tangent.
It's common knowledge that most people consider puns to be the lowest form of humor, and unfunny humor at that.
A few days ago I tried an experiment. I told a group of 10 people 10 diffent puns to see if any of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, NO PUN IN TEN DID.