Pudding Jokes

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    Bank Robbery

    Hot 5 months ago

    Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safe deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
    The Head Gangster says "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat
    the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second Safe deposit box and
    there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
    Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safe deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said "Well, at least we got a free meal out of it."
    The next day, while listening to the news they more...

    First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"Second soldier: "No way, Jose!"First soldier: "Whyever not?"Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!"

    Of the many psychometric devices designed to measure the dimensions of human variation, the Hidden Brain Damage Scale stands alone as the only instrument capable of predicting a preference for pimento loaf. For this reason, and despite the sizable revenues that might accrue from the copyright, we offer the scale here for public consumption. It was authored in a flurry of graduate school insight some years ago by Robin Vallacher (Illinois Institute of Technology), Christopher Gilbert (private practice, New Jersey) and Daniel Wegner (Trinity University, San Antonio, Texas). Although a true-false format is recommended, we have found that many test-takers opt for the response of getting tangled up in the drapery.The Hidden Brain Damage Scale1. People tell me one thing one day and out the other.
    2. I can't unclasp my hands.
    3. I can wear my shirts as pants.
    4. I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today.
    5. I always lick the fronts of postage stamps.
    6. I often more...

    Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
    A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.

    What's grosser than gross? Dreaming about eating chocolate pudding, and waking up with a spoon in your butt.

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