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    Hot 3 years ago

    ** Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    ** Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

    ** To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    ** Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.

    ** To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

    ** To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top.

    ** Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won't be any stains.

    ** When a cake recipe calls for flouring more...

    16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 110 degrees without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7: 30 a. m. before work. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to more...

    16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert
    You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
    You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
    You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
    You can make instant sun tea.
    You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
    The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
    You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
    You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
    You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
    Hot water now comes out of both taps.
    It's July, it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
    You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
    You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
    No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
    Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get more...

    Lease a Nuke! Want power and respect? Want to influence the course of world events? Want to be on CNN every night? Tired of hum-drum conventional warfare and messy bio-chemical weapons? Want to watch the citizens of your favorite arcology squirm and sweat in constant nagging fear of instant and unexpected anhilation? Lease a nuclear device! In the wake of the former Soviet Union's demise, there are literally thousand of high-quality nuclear weapons complete with intercontinental delivery systems going unused. Though these systems are indeed powerful and destructive weapons of war, they are most effective when used in a more passive role. The US and USSR have proven in years of research and actual testing that nuclear devices are most effective when merely targeting an enemy. Actual detonation is not normally necessary to acheive tremendous effect in the designated target's military, political, economic and social well being. Imagine the boost in national pride and morale when you more...

    Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
    A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.

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