Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safe deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
The Head Gangster says "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat
the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second Safe deposit box and
there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safe deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said "Well, at least we got a free meal out of it."
The next day, while listening to the news they more...
An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.
"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.
"Don't know of collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"I don't know; it has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
"What are you more...
Banta Singh, wanting to rob State Bank of Patiala, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." on the back of a deposit slip.
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that some-one had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window.
So he left the bank and crossed the street to State Bank of India. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the SBI teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a State Bank of Patiala deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a State Bank of India deposit slip or go back to State Bank of Patiala.
Looking somewhat defeated, Banta said "OK" and left. The SBI teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he more...
Pull up to ATM
Enter PIN and account
Take cash, card and receipt
Pull up to ATM
Back up and pull forward to get closer
Shut off engine
Put keys in purse
Get out of car because you're too far from machine
Hunt for card in purse
Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
Re-enter correct PIN
Look for envelope
Look in purse for pen
Make out deposit slip
Make cash withdrawal
Get in car
Look for keys
Start pulling away
Back up to machine
Get out of car
Take card and receipt
Get back in car
Put card in wallet
Put receipt in checkbook
Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
Clear area in purse for wallet and more...
How to get money from a cash machine:
1. Pull up to a bancontact
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, card and receipt
1. Pull up to a bancontact
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
9. Enter PIN number
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN number
12A Hit "cancel"
12B Call husband to get correct PIN number
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check more...