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    Nick The Dragonslayer

    Hot 1 year ago

    Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.

    Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

    One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.

    Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1, 000 gold coins to arrange it.

    Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

    Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that more...

    This isn't mine, I heard it on the radio this morning.
    Man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks
    down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to
    use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts
    talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another
    and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes
    its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you
    got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds
    to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
    His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed.
    "Where the hell have you been?!?!"
    "Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they
    were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this
    great looking chick there and we had a few drinks more...

    425 b.c. Day One
    Dear Diary,
    First day at sea. Whew! Just made it under the wire. The animals seem
    happy, but the lions and tigers are beginning to become restless, and it
    was a bad idea to put the rhinos, hippos and elephants on the starboard
    side, and the birds, insects, gerbils and hamsters port. Took some work to
    "straighten" that one out, har har. Too tired to talk to God tonight. (Get
    Him started about the furies of His judgement, and He just goes on and
    on...) So, off to bed...
    425 b.c. Day Three
    Dear Diary,
    Rain has stopped, finally, and there's not a whole lot of land left to
    see. Saw a whole village's worth of people, all tied together in a pitiful
    attempt to save their own lives through common struggle. Sure glad I read
    those books about building my own shelter and surviving the Apocalypse; now
    if I can figure out what "canned rations" and "ferroconcrete bunkers" mean,
    I'll be in more...

    your mamma is so old when she breast feeds it comes out as powder

    your momma so old when she breast feeds the milk comes out like powder it goes poooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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