Poorly Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly? By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

One snowy December, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute Christmas shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season just then. It was dark, cold and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I would probably need later on, so muttering under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.

As I was searching the wet pavement for the missing receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing nearby. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy, who I guessed was about 12 years old. He was short and thin, and had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold winter night's chill.

Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand. Thinking that he had gotten separated from his parents and was lost, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story - he said that he came from a large more...

The United States of America apologizes to the People's Republic of China for allowing our slow, lumbering reconnaissance plane to be hit by your poorly trained, hot-dogging fighter pilot, while flying in international airspace.
We're sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country that has nuclear missiles pointed at us.
We're sorry your pilot didn't follow international standards of fighter intercept protocol.
We're sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn't realize the EP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through its propeller arc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.
We're sorry your fighter pilot's survival training and equipment was so inadequate that he couldn't survive until your poorly trained and equipped navy could find him (they turned down our offer for search and rescue assistance).
We're sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of an aircraft that more...

Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last
minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very
fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and
wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that
I felt obligated to buy. Then I noticed that I was missing a
receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I
retraced my steps to the mall entrance.
As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard
a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed
boy of about 12 years old.
He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a
ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill.
Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand!
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him
what was wrong.
He told me his sad story.
He said that he came from a large family. He had more...