Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard of her." his companions protested. "Who is she?" "Why she's just the greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING VIRGINIA PIPELINE"
Three nuns die and go to heaven. They are met at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who tells them they led such good lives they will be permitted to return to earth as anyone they want.The first nun thinks it over and says "I'd like to return as Sophia Loren."St. Peter says "Fine, you can return as Sophia Loren."The second nun thinks and says "I'd like to be Gina Lollobrigida."St. Peter says "No problem, you can return as Gina Lollobrigida."The third nun says "I think I'd like to be Virginia Pipeline."St. Peter says, "Hmmm, I don't think I know of anyone named Virginia Pipeline?"At which point the third nun shows him the headline from the morning paper: "Virginia Pipeline Laid by 25 Men"
The Economy, Stupid
"We`re enjoying sluggish times, and not enjoying them very much." -George Bush Sr., in 1992
"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
"Please don`t ask me to do that which I`ve just said I`m not going to do, because you`re burning up time. The meter is running through the sand on you, and I am now filibustering." -George Bush Sr., in 1989
"The senator has got to understand if he`s going to have - he can`t have it both ways. He can`t take the high horse and then claim the low road." -George W. Bush, in Feb. 2000
The Call of the Wild
"If you`re worried about caribou, take a look at the arguments that were used about the pipeline. They`d say the caribou would be extinct. You`ve got to shake them away with a stick. They`re all making love lying up against the pipeline and you got thousands of caribou up more...