Pianist Jokes / Recent Jokes

This man walks into a bar with an old shopping bag in hand. He sets the bag on top of the bar and pulls up his stool. The bartender comes over and asks what he'll have to swill.
As he states his preference, something in the bag is moving around shaking the paper bag. The bartender gives a puzzled look but proceeds to the tap. As he's filling the mug, he looks at the bag again and sees that something is still moving around in the bag. He brings the beer over and places it in front of the man. His curiosity gets the best of him and he asks the man what he's got in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little piano and sets it on the bar... the bartender looks intently at the piano as the man again reaches into the bag... pulling out a small piano bench. He places the bench in front of the piano and again reaches into the bag pulling out a foot tall man. The man sits at the piano and begins playing.
The bartender says,"wow, he sure can play the piano, more...

Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"

While the fellow is sitting at the bar, waiting for his beer, he pulls out a 12 inch pianist and a small piano. Seeing this, the guy next to him asks where he got the tiny pianist.
"I got it from my genie," the fellow replied. Not quite believing him, the guy next to him asks if he can try and wishes for a million bucks. Before he knows it, there are a million ducks flying all over the place.
"What happened!" exclaimed the guy next to him. "I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks."
"Well," the fellow said, "my genie is hard of hearing. You really don't think I wished for a 12 inch pianist do you?"

Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play requests?
Yes, sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my
meal.

A guy is sitting in a bar with his twelve-inch pianist sitting on his shoulder. He orders a drink from the bartender, and the bartender says, "Where'd you get this wise-ass little twelve-inch pianist?" "Well," the man says, "I was at the beach the other day and I found an Aladdin's lamp, rubbed it and a genie came out. And the genie gave me three wishes. My first wish was to have a million dollars. My second wish was to have a beautiful home." The bartender says, "And your third wish was to have a twelve-inch pianist?"

"Well, the man says, "not exactly!"

Moshe walks into a bar and sits down. He gets out a tiny little box and to the man sitting next to hims surprise the box starts playing music. After further inspection the man realises that inside the box is a ten inch pianist playing on a tiny grand piano.
"That's incredible!", the man says, "Where did you get that?"
"Well", says Moshe, "I found this magic lamp". At that Moshe pulls aout a magic lamp from his jacket.
The man says "Could I make a wish please?"
Moshe agrees to the man's wishes but does warn him about the lamp:
"The thing is, the lamp doesn't work very well..."
However the man is already rubbing the lamp. After the man stops making his wish, the bar fills with hundreds of thousands of hound dogs, barking and biting.
"I didn't wish for this", the man says in utter surprise, "I wished for a million POUNDS"
So Moshe replies "Well did you thing I wished for a more...

One evening this drunk walks into a bar, sits down, and happens to notice a 12" tall man standing on the bar. Astonished, the man asks the guy next to him; "What the hell is that?" The guy next to him replies "He's a pianist!", to which the drunk replied "Horse shit, your pulling my leg" So the guy next to him picks up the 12" man, grabs some books, and props the little man up to the piano. Sure enough, this little man started hammerin out all the favorite tunes of the bars' patrons. Stunned, the drunk asks "That little guy is cool, where the hell did you get him"? The fella told the drunk how he had found a genie bottle out in the alley, rubbed it til a genie appeared, and was granted one wish. All of a sudden the drunk hauls ass out the back door, finds the bottle, and starts rubbing it: when all of a sudden a genie pops out and grants him one wish. In a slur, the drunk asks "I wish for a million bucks". All of a sudden, more...