Pianist Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.
    So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
    'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'
    'OK,' says the guy.
    He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
    'You have one wish.'
    The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
    He tells the barman,
    'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'
    The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'

    A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theater to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
    The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
    "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."

    This man walks into a bar and see a 12 inch pianist playing the piano. He walks up to the manager at the bar and asked wher he got the pianist. The manager said there was a genie on the other side of the room. So the guy goes over to the genie and said he wanted a million BUCKS. All of a sudden there was a million DUCKS. He goes over to the manager and told him what happened and the manager said he was a bit muddled up because he got a 12inch peanist. (get it was suppose to get a 12 inch penis)

    While the fellow is sitting at the bar, waiting for his beer, he pulls out a 12 inch pianist and a small piano. Seeing this, the guy next to him asks where he got the tiny pianist.
    "I got it from my genie," the fellow replied. Not quite believing him, the guy next to him asks if he can try and wishes for a million bucks. Before he knows it, there are a million ducks flying all over the place.
    "What happened!" exclaimed the guy next to him. "I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks."
    "Well," the fellow said, "my genie is hard of hearing. You really don't think I wished for a 12 inch pianist do you?"

    Moshe walks into a bar and sits down. He gets out a tiny little box and to the man sitting next to hims surprise the box starts playing music. After further inspection the man realises that inside the box is a ten inch pianist playing on a tiny grand piano.
    "That's incredible!", the man says, "Where did you get that?"
    "Well", says Moshe, "I found this magic lamp". At that Moshe pulls aout a magic lamp from his jacket.
    The man says "Could I make a wish please?"
    Moshe agrees to the man's wishes but does warn him about the lamp:
    "The thing is, the lamp doesn't work very well..."
    However the man is already rubbing the lamp. After the man stops making his wish, the bar fills with hundreds of thousands of hound dogs, barking and biting.
    "I didn't wish for this", the man says in utter surprise, "I wished for a million POUNDS"
    So Moshe replies "Well did you thing I wished for a more...

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