Peed Jokes / Recent Jokes

A patient complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.
"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor said.
"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee."
"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, "No, we've already peed."
Next time the patient came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So? Did you do as I said?
"Yes, I did."
"Did it help?"
"Yes, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."
"How?"
"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little."

There was this family who lived in the country, and the father took his boy out shooting. When they came back later that day the father put his BB gun on the top of the stove and hurried to the bathroom.

He set it down so fast and hard that it opened and the BB's from the gun went right into mother's spagetti sauce. She had seen the BB's and just figured that they couldn't hurt anyone, so she just served dinner anyways.

Later that night the little girl ran down stairs saying, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's! Well did it hurt you said the mom. No said the girl. Ok then don; t worry it will go away.

Then the little boy runs down stairs, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's! Well did it hurt she says? No says the boy. Ok then don't worry about it, it will go away.

Later that night the father rushes down the stairs with his pants down - "honey, honey, I was just up stairs jacking off and I shot the dog!"

A pregnant women gets caught up in a bank raid and gets shot in the stoumach 3 times
.she survies but the doctors say that each of her children will pee out a bullet when they are older.She has 3 children 2 girls and a boy.when her first daughter is 6 she runs to her mum and says "mummy mummy i wee weed out a bullet" her mum replies "its ok darling"
.when her second daughter is nine she shouts to her mum and says"mum i peed out a bullet" she replies "thats ok"
When her son is 13 he runs down the stairs and "shouts mum mum" she says "calmley i know you peed out a bullet" he says "no i was having a wank and i shot the dog!".

a woman is in the ghetto one day and she is pregnant with triplets and she goes into the store and gets shot three times one in each womb.when she goes to the doctor she says they will be alright but will be some side affects.one of the girls come in and says mom i just peed a bullet she said youll be alright i just got shot thirteen years ago another girl comes in and says ijust peed a bullet to youll be alright so the boy comes in ballin his eyes out his mom asked did you pee a bullet? no i was jakin off and i shot the dog.

One day there was a grandmother, her 2 grandaughters, and her grandson and they were baking a cake. And as they were baking the cake their grandmother accidently put bullets in the cake, but she said that it will be ok. And so they finished the cake and the grandchildren ate it and a couple hours later her first grandaughter came downstairs and told her grandmother that she had peed out a bullet. Then a couple minuets later her second grandaughter came down and said grandma grandma I peed out a bullet. Then her grandson came down a couple minuets later and said grandma grandma guess what. and his grandma said let me guess you peed out a bullet too. Then, the grandon said no, I was jacking off and i shot the dog.