Passover Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Heavenly Blondes

    Hot 1 year ago

    Three blondes died and found themselves standing before Saint Peter at the gate to heaven. St. Peter said to them, “Before you may enter the gates of heaven you have to tell me what Easter is. ”
    The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where we all have a big feast and we’re thankful. ”
    St. Peter said, “NO! ” and banished her from heaven.
    The second blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where we celebrate Jesus’ birth and give each other presents. ”
    St. Peter said, “NO! ” and banished her from heaven.
    The third blonde said, “I know what Easter is. ”
    St. Peter said, “Ok then, tell me. ”
    She starts, “Easter is Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross where he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a large boulder. ”
    St. Peter said, more...

    The gold teeth

    Hot 11 months ago

    Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany.
    He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made.
    When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth.
    So Moisha explained: "We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth."
    The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?"
    Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.
    The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of more...

    Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?"Jesus says, "Just hanging around."

    False Teeth

    Hot 10 months ago

    Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made.When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth. So Moisha explained."We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth."The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?"Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What
    about the more...

    Why is it only
    on Passover night
    we never know how
    to do anything right?
    We don't eat our meals
    in the regular ways,
    the ways that we do
    on all other days.
    'Cause on all other nights
    we may eat
    all kinds of wonderful
    good bready treats,
    like big purple pizza
    that tastes like a pickle,
    crumbly crackers
    and pink pumpernickel,
    sassafras sandwich
    and tiger on rye,
    fifty falafels in pita,
    fresh-fried,
    with peanut-butter
    and tangerine sauce
    spread onto each side
    up-and-down, then across,
    and toasted whole-wheat bread
    with liver and ducks,
    and crumpets and dumplings,
    and bagels and lox,
    and doughnuts with one hole
    and doughnuts with four,
    and cake with six layers
    and windows and doors.
    Yes-
    on all other nights
    we eat all kinds of bread,
    but tonight of all nights
    we munch matzah instead.
    And on all other nights
    we devour
    vegetables, green more...

  • Recent Activity