"Heavenly Blondes" joke

Hot 1 year ago

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before Saint Peter at the gate to heaven. St. Peter said to them, “Before you may enter the gates of heaven you have to tell me what Easter is. ”
The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where we all have a big feast and we’re thankful. ”
St. Peter said, “NO! ” and banished her from heaven.
The second blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where we celebrate Jesus’ birth and give each other presents. ”
St. Peter said, “NO! ” and banished her from heaven.
The third blonde said, “I know what Easter is. ”
St. Peter said, “Ok then, tell me. ”
She starts, “Easter is Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross where he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a large boulder. ”
St. Peter said, “Very good…”
She adds, “Every year the Jews role away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter. ”

A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and, of course, the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another woman walks up behind more...

MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I more...

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of more...

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 8 vote(s). 88% are positive. 0 comment(s).