Passover Jokes / Recent Jokes

And it came to pass that an openly Jewish man was elected to be President of the United States of America.

So he calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down to Washington DC to share the Passover Holliday.

She says,' I'd like to, but it's so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Blvd...'

He replies,' Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab; I'll send a limo for you!'

To which his mother replies,' I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport, and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble.'

He replies,' Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One or another of my private jets for you.

To which she replies,' Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry my luggage through the airport, and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble.'

He more...

Why is it only
on Passover night
we never know how
to do anything right?
We don't eat our meals
in the regular ways,
the ways that we do
on all other days.
'Cause on all other nights
we may eat
all kinds of wonderful
good bready treats,
like big purple pizza
that tastes like a pickle,
crumbly crackers
and pink pumpernickel,
sassafras sandwich
and tiger on rye,
fifty falafels in pita,
fresh-fried,
with peanut-butter
and tangerine sauce
spread onto each side
up-and-down, then across,
and toasted whole-wheat bread
with liver and ducks,
and crumpets and dumplings,
and bagels and lox,
and doughnuts with one hole
and doughnuts with four,
and cake with six layers
and windows and doors.
Yes-
on all other nights
we eat all kinds of bread,
but tonight of all nights
we munch matzah instead.
And on all other nights
we devour
vegetables, green more...

Top 16 Passover Pickup Lines
16. Let's play 'bury the shank bone'.
15. Gefilte fish jelly makes great lubrication.
14. I hear that horseradish is an aphrodisiac.
13. Have you ever done it on a seder plate?
12. Maybe when Elijah comes, we can make it a threesome.
11. Let's make this night really different from all others nights.
10. Want to wander through my desert?
9. Nice Hagadah!!!
8. What's a girl like you doing at a seder like this?
7. Rabeinu, Moshe Rabeinu. OO7!
6. Would you like to play with my matzah balls?
5. Can I part your Red Sea?
4. There's no law against leavened _______!!!
3. I've got a Ramses in my pockets that wants to put you back into slavery!
2. May I climb your Mt. Sinai's?
AND THE NUMBER ONE PASSOVER PICKUP LINE....
1. Wanna look for MY afeikomen?