"Great Jewish Movies never made!" joke

Oy of the Beholder - Singles kvetch about their awful dates.
Girls, Interrupted - Women's section of Shul shusshed during davening (prayers).
The Seder House Rules - Zaydie lays down the law on Pesach.
Angela's Kashas - Woman reveals secret recipes.
The Six Cents - Three Jews each put in their two-cents' worth.
Snow Falling on Seders - Unexpected storm disrupts Passover.
Supernova - Space scientists discover powerful strain of lox.
Dreydel Will Rock - Chanukah toy comes alive.
Sleepy Hallah - On Friday night, father fills up on bread, dozes off.
Stuart Ladle - Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.
The Whole Nine Yids - Struggling shul waits for tenth.
The Green Mohel - Young man performs first circumcision
Mun on the Moon - Astronauts discover hamantaschen filling, not green cheese, on lunar surface.
Gonif with the Wind - A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.
The Putzman Rings Twice - A mohel murder mystery
Schnorer Rae - A freeloader tries to get in on the union movement
Balaboosta Cockburn - John Wayne's wife memorizes Grossinger cookbook
The Good, the Chabbad, and the Ugly - A kosher noodle western
Moby Dreck - Captain Ahab harpoons the wrong end of the whale
The Cincinnati Yid - Steve McQueen uses some of his poker winnings to start a reform congregation
Litvak Big Man - Dustin Hoffman learns that his parents are an American Indian and a Lithuanian immigrant
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kibbitzer - Paul Newman and Robert Redford do some standup shtick while they rob their victims.
Bridge over the River Kvetch - The extras complain that whistling the theme song dries out their mouth and hurts their lips
The Creature from the Black Latke - An overdone potato pancake turns into a monster
Mamza Poppins - A talented nanny has questions about her birth legitimacy
The Matzo Candidate - Frank Sinatra is brainwashed into thinking it's always Passover
Mister Schnapps Goes to Washington - Jimmy Stewart thinks he's still filming Harvey
Driedls of the Lost Ark - Harrison Ford plays Chanukah games
Aleph Doesn't Live Here Anymore - Neither the waitress nor the old Hebrew school can be found
Borscht-time for Bonzo - Ronald Regan tries to train an Ashkenazy monkey
Singing in the Ch'rain - Gene Kelly gets horseradish on his umbrella

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Haan! more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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