Olive Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What's Santa Claus's favorite cable program?
A: St. Nick at Nite
Q: Where do giant Eskimos live?
A: Bigloos.
Q: What does a cat get when it is walking on a beach Christmas Eve?
A: Sandy Claws
Q: Who is the reindeer with the worst manners?
A: Rudolph (Rude-olph)
Q: Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf-esteem
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Olive?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound up already.
Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
"What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?" "Popeye beat the shit out of him!"
How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive"?
Olive?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
Why doesn't Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?
They both have ornamental balls.
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down more...
This recipe has been around for many years in many fashions but in
recent years for some reason has fallen out of favor. Here we
shall return to a true classic dish of alternative fine dining.
The list of ingredients is as follows:
1 reindeer, appx. 125-175 lbs., skinned, dressed (though not in a
tux; ha, ha) and head mounted if you so desire.
6-9 Christmas elves cleaned and finely diced, appx. 8 lbs. useable
weight.
8 lbs. celery, finely chopped.
8 lbs. onions, finely chopped.
8 lbs. carrots, finely diced.
1 gallon vodka (to numb the elves before you peel them and dice
them).
32 lbs. dry bread crumbs.
3 gallons chicken stock.
salt, pepper, to taste.
Fresh garlic, 1-6 lbs. as you desire.
3-4 gallons of olive oil for basting the roasting reindeer.
Preparation:
Saute the onions, carrots, and celery in a large pan, using some
olive oil, until tender.
Brown the diced elves in the more...
On a famous TV game show A BLONDE contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS! "To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and,. .. Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain...' Olive?!?'". "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
What happened to the Pope when he visited Mount Olive? - Popeye almost killed him.