Oboist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?
A: Shoot four of them.

Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.

Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?
A: Because most oboes are full of holes.

Q: How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?
A: Steal his batteries.

OBOE: This weapon may appear harmless at first sight. The instrument's stealth qualities lure its intended victims into a false state of security, and then hit them without mercy. The oboe itself is a harmless composite or wooden conical tube. Once the ordnance (reed) is inserted, it is a weapon of tremendous power. One comforting factor is that the oboe is only as dangerous as the musician who wields it. At first glance, the operator of the oboe appears sweet, demure, and quite approachable. Do not be fooled by this deception. The oboist is actually a very high strung and temperamental foe. This mania is caused by the perpetual search for the perfect reed, which we all know doesn't exist. Those who play on plastic reeds are the bottom dwellers of the oboe world and are especially dangerous. The oboe is capable of producing a tone of laser-like quality. The sheer capabilities of volume produced can overpower an entire concert band.
The resulting backpressure produced by over more...