Mug Jokes

Moraj Desai, the then Indian prime minister visited Sri lanka and was invited to
have dinner with the then prime minister Premadasa.
After Indian PM arrived in the Temple Trees (prime minister's residence) they
exchanged greetings and was escorted to the visiting room.
"How about a sip of your favourite drink?" asked Prem from the visiting PM.
"I will be most grateful to you Prem."
So, Prem went inside and peed in to a big beer mug. He brought the foaming
liquid and offered to the Indian PM.
"Thanks a lot Prem" said the Indian PM and gulped down the drink with two
gulps.
"Aah, what a refreshing taste."
"Do you like to have some more?"
"Yes, if you don't mind"
So, Prem went inside again and tried produce another mug full of the drink, but
unfortunately he could produce a single drop. He asked his dear wife Hemavo
to help him out of this difficult more...

You know you're drinking too much coffee when... You answer the door before people knock. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You lick your coffeepot clean. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You chew on other people's fingernails. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend." You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet. You can jump-start your car without cables. Cocaine is a downer. All your kids are named "Joe". You don't need a hammer to pound nails. Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low." You don't sweat, you percolate. You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel. You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize more...

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says: - You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.

An insect falls into a mug of beer....
Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out.
American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer.
Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away.
Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.
Pakistani: Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer. Relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for Military aid. Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer..

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:- I cant drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says:- You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.