Miracles Jokes / Recent Jokes
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I heard recently that no Filipino saints have ever been selected and feel this is a wrong that must be righted. I know of at least one Filipino who has passed the criteria for sainthood (performing three miracles), Ferdinand Marcos. The miracles he performed are: 1) He took millions, possibly billions of dollars out of one of the world's poorer nations. 2) He stayed married to Imelda for over 30 years. 3) He died of natural causes.
Have faith and ye shall be healed!" intoned the evangelist at the revival meeting. A woman on crutches and a man came forward. The evangelist asked, "What is your name, my good woman?"
"I'm Mrs. Smith," she answered, "and I haven't been able to walk without crutches for twenty years."
"Well, Mrs. Smith," he said, "go behind that screen and pray."
Turning to the man, he asked, "Now, sir, what is your name?"
"My name ith Thamualth," he answered, "and I have alwayth thpoken with a lithp."
"All right, Mr. Samuals," the evangelist said, "go behind that screen with Mrs. Smith and pray." After several minutes had passed, the revivalist announced: "I think the time has come. Witness these miracles. Mrs. Smith, throw your left crutch over the screen." The audience gasped as it sailed over. "Mrs. Smith, throw your right crutch over the screen." more...
One day a new pastor moved to a small town. He wanted to impress his congregation and make them believe he could perform miracles. So he went into an animal store where he bought a parrot. He taught the parrot to speak and to perform some tricks. He decided to perform a miracle for his sermon the following Sunday. On Saturday night, he bought two loaves of bread and gave them to the parrot. He told the parrot to go onto the roof of the church, and during service the next morning when he says, "God, send down bread!", the parrot must send down into the church one loaf at a time.
During service the next morning, the pastor cried out to his congregation, "I can perform miracles! I can make bread come down from Heaven! God, send down bread!"
And a loaf of bread fell from Heaven. The congregation was in awe of the pastor. They could not believe that he could perform miracles. They said, "do it again!"
The pastor cried out again, "God, send more...
As far as I know this is original. I made this up with a few friends while
in a bar in the middle of nowhere cut off from the rest of civilization.
I heard recently that no Filipino saints have ever been selected and feel
this is a wrong that must be righted. I know of at least one Filipino
who has passed the criteria for sainthood (performing three miracles),
Ferdinand Marcos. The miracles he performed are:
1) He took millions, possibly billions of dollars out of one of the
world's poorer nations.
2) He stayed married to Imelda for over 30 years.
3) He died of natural causes.