Memories Jokes / Recent Jokes
A study on how emotions cloud memories found that Red Sox fans have fuzzy memories about the historic 2004 ALCS victory over the Yankees.
You mean my cherished memory of George Steinbrenner dressed in drag, wearing a pink Red Sox cap, curled in a fetal position behind the pitcher's mound, chanting "UNCLE!" over and over again didn't really happen?
A western reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about that land. He meets an old man in a village and asks him about any memorable events in his life. The old man says "well one time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the donkey. Then we drank the vodka and one by one started screwing the donkey, it was a lot of fun." The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. The old man said: "well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some vodka and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the vodka and one by one screwed the neighbor's wife. It was a lot of fun." The reporter, feeling frustrated, told the old man that he couldn't write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any dramatic or sad memories that he could talk about. more...
Memories
Moishe, 79, was talking to Yankel, 83, who had just dropped in for a chat and a moan.
"Moishe, I`m not the same any more. I can`t remember so many things!"
"It vas the same thing mit myselve! But I took a memory course."
"Vos? Does this help?"
"Sure it does."
"So Moishe, tell me how this vorks."
"This is called mnemonics. You take something that reminds you of other things and so it goes."
"I vant to take this course! Vat is it called?"
"It is called...hum...the name...oy vay...Vait! Vat do you call that flower which people in love give to their girlfriends?"
"A rose, right?"
Moishe immediately shouts upstairs, "Rose, Rose my darling, what is the name of that memory course we took?"
A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded. "Professors havent got bad memories," he declared. "Theyre not absent-minded. Dont you think I know where I am right now, and dont you think tomorrow Ill know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another question?" "Yes," said another guest. "Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memories?" "Good!" said the professor. "I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question."