Justin Williams told this joke on his Cajun Cooking show:
Two Cajuns, Rober' and Maurice, decided that hunting possums had gotten too dull, so they planned a trip to Canada to shoot moose. They flew in commercial planes all the way to Saskatoon, and from there, they hired a bush pilot to take them in a little plane into moose country.
The pilot put them down in a short little airstrip about 200 kms from nowhere.
"Boys," he said, "I'll be back here at noon in three days. You be right here, and remember that this plane is too small to carry more than the three of us and ONE moose. So, there's no need to hunting more than ONE moose, because you won't be able to take but one out of here."
Robert and Maurice nodded agreement, and off the plane went, leaving the two Cajuns in the wilderness, eager for their hunting expedition.
On the third day, the plane landed at 11:55 local time, and there beside the airstrip were Robert and Maurice, each sitting on more...
A step up the ladder
Maurice, a young Jew comes to North London and applies for a job as caretaker at the Edgware Synagogue. The synagogue committee were just about to offer him the job when they discover that he is illiterate. They decide for many reasons that it would be inappropriate to have an illiterate caretaker. So Maurice leaves and decides to forge a career in another business. He chooses to sell plastic goods door to door. He does well and soon is able to buy a car and later, to open a store, and then a second. Finally he is ready to open 5 more stores and so applies to the bank for a loan. But when the bank manager asks him to sign the contract, it was obvious that he could not write. Shocked to discover that this successful young man had little education, the bank manager says, "Just think what you could have been if you had learned to read and write."
"Yes," says Maurice, "I would be caretaker at Edgware synagogue."
Former Ohio State Running Back Maurice Clarett was arrested by police yesterday without any reference to Jews. You might remember Clarett when he tried to be the the first sophmore to skip his junior and senior year, and go straight into the NFL. Now he going to be the first former all-star to skip the NFL and go straight to prison. Normally you must play at least two years for the Cowboys before you are eligible for jail time.
A German comes to London and stays with Maurice and his family. The first morning they all have breakfast together and have bagels. The German exclaims "Wow we don't have bagels like this in Germany." To which Maurice stands up and yells "And who's fault is that?"
Sadie tells Maurice, "You’re a schmuck! You always were a schmuck and you always will be a schmuck! You look, act and dress like a schmuck! You’ll be a schmuck until the day you die! And if they ran a world-wide competition for schmucks, you would be the world’s second biggest schmuck!"
"Why only second place?" Maurice asks.
"Because you’re a schmuck!" Sadie screams.