Carry Jokes

Justin Williams told this joke on his Cajun Cooking show:
Two Cajuns, Rober' and Maurice, decided that hunting possums had gotten too dull, so they planned a trip to Canada to shoot moose. They flew in commercial planes all the way to Saskatoon, and from there, they hired a bush pilot to take them in a little plane into moose country.
The pilot put them down in a short little airstrip about 200 kms from nowhere.
"Boys," he said, "I'll be back here at noon in three days. You be right here, and remember that this plane is too small to carry more than the three of us and ONE moose. So, there's no need to hunting more than ONE moose, because you won't be able to take but one out of here."
Robert and Maurice nodded agreement, and off the plane went, leaving the two Cajuns in the wilderness, eager for their hunting expedition.
On the third day, the plane landed at 11:55 local time, and there beside the airstrip were Robert and Maurice, each sitting on more...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................

1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.

3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.

4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.

5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.

6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.

7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.

8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...

A man came from church one day and upon reaching da house he met his wife at da hall.As soon as he saw his wife he carried her up not wanting to drop her.Da wife was surprised and asked her husband whether da pastor preached about being romantic to your partners.Da man said no and then da wife was a little bit suprised and stil wanted to know why she was stil being carried up.Da husband looked at her and said da pastor told us to carry our burdens and sorrows up and high. Symon

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]
A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.
[Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]
The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.
[That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?"]
The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.
[Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee? ]
Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.
[Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]
America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.
[3 very lonely men.]
98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.
[The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]
When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.
[When the female feel amorous, she grabs something more...

"I'm going to become a lion tamer."
"That's crazy, you don't know nothing about lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I'll take that big chair they all carry and stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I'll takes that whip they all carry and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and breaks it in two? What are you going to do then?"
"Well, then I'll take that gun they all carry and shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I'll pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the more...