Carry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Politically Correct Little Red Riding HoodThere once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who livedon the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants thatwould probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time tostudy them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred toas "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would havethought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit andmineral water to her grandmother's house." But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people whohave struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages betweenvarious people in the woods?" Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had more...

    A man came from church one day and upon reaching da house he met his wife at da hall.As soon as he saw his wife he carried her up not wanting to drop her.Da wife was surprised and asked her husband whether da pastor preached about being romantic to your partners.Da man said no and then da wife was a little bit suprised and stil wanted to know why she was stil being carried up.Da husband looked at her and said da pastor told us to carry our burdens and sorrows up and high. Symon

    Mirthy Facts

    Hot 4 years ago

    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
    [Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]
    A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.
    [Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]
    The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.
    [That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?"]
    The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.
    [Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee? ]
    Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.
    [Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]
    America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.
    [3 very lonely men.]
    98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.
    [The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]
    When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.
    [When the female feel amorous, she grabs something more...

    You Know You're A Wog..

    Hot 7 years ago

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................

    1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

    2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.

    3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.

    4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.

    5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.

    6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.

    7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.

    8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...

    Lion tamer!

    Hot 3 years ago

    "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
    "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about lion taming."
    "Yes I do!"
    "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
    "Well, then I'll take that big chair they all carry and stick it in his face until he backs down."
    "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
    "Well, then I'll takes that whip they all carry and whip him until he backs down."
    "Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and breaks it in two? What are you going to do then?"
    "Well, then I'll take that gun they all carry and shoot him."
    "Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
    "Well, then I'll pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the more...

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