Martinis Jokes

A priest was assigned a small church in the Alaskan backwoods.
After a couple of years, the bishop stopped by to see how he was doing.
"Ah, Bishop, it's really lonely here. I couldn't have made it without my Rosary and two martinis a day."
The bishop replied, "You know, a martini would taste good right now."
The priest agreed and yelled into the kitchen, "Hey, Rosary! Fix us a couple of martinis, will ya!?"

He drank with curvy Mabel, The pace was fast and furious. He slid beneath the table- Not drunk, but merely curious. Martinis, my girl, are deceiving: Take two at the very most. Take three and you're under the table. Take four and you're under the host.
She was a gorgeous girl. And he was a loving male. He praised her shape in English, French, Italian and Braille.

"Two Martinis, bitte." "Dry?" "Nein, I said TWO!"

Two guys are riding to work on the bus, when they see a couple of dogs going at it on a lawn.
One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says, "Boy, I'd give just about anything to do it to my wife like that."
The other, a single guy, says, "Heck, that's easy. Just feed her three martinis."
The following morning, the same two guys are riding the bus to work. The single guy asks the other, "So, did you get to do it to your wife doggie style?"
The married guy replies, "Yes, but it took SIX martinis."
"SIX martinis! How come so many?" exclaims the single guy.
"Hell, it took three just to get her out on the lawn," replies the husband.

Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see two dogs goin' at it on a lawn. One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says, "Geez, I'd give anything to do it to my wife like that."
The other, a single guy, says, "Heck, that's easy. Just feed her three martinis."
The same two guys are riding the bus to work the next morning. The single one asks the other, "Well, did you get to do it to your wife doggie style?"
The married guy replies, "Yes, but it took SIX martinis."
The single guy exclaims, "SIX martinis! How come so many?"
The husband replies, "Hell, it took three just to get her out on the lawn."