Loudly Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
11. Walk and talk backwards.
12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more...

Farting loudly in a moving elevator is foul on so many levels.

Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long international flights to kill time...
Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.
When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".
Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.

50 ways to FREAK your roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave
"Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your
roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair
of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and
dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate
to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like,
THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your more...

1. Extend your open palm under the stall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Cheer and clap loudly each time someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
3. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
4. Drop a marble and say, "Shit! My glass eye!"
5. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
6. Say, "Damn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain loudly for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Hummus. Reminds me of hummus."
9. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
10. Fill a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall wall of your neighbor while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Hmmm... interesting... more sinkers than floaters."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop more...

Another joke that just proves lawyers get no respect:

An irate man at a bar says loudly, "Lawyers are jerks!"

The man two seats down proclaims just as loudly, "I object!"

"Why?" asks the first man. "Are you a lawyer?"

"No," the other replies. "I'm a jerk."

Little Johnny's mother took her 6-year-old son with her to the bank.
They were in line behind a rather obese lady. As the mother patiently waited, Little Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's really fat."
The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Little' Johnny received a reprimand.
After a minute or two, Little Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, "I bet her butt is 'that' wide."
At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.
Again after a couple of minutes Little Johnny stated loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt."
The lady turned and told Johnny's mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.
The lady's pager begins to go off.
Lil' Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, "Run for your life, she's backing more...