Load Jokes / Recent Jokes

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying ''Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!'' He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him.
''You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?''
''I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling.''
''Okay, truck drivers are not nerds,'' he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.
''Why did you do that?''
''Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license.'' The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the more...

A truck driver hauling a tractor trailer filled with computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door reading, "Nerds Not Allowed -- Enter at Your Own Risk."
He enters the bar and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs him, says he smells kind of nerdy, and asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender says okay, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer.
As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away.
The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and now they are in season.
"You don't even need a license," more...

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" "Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

Three hunters decided if they got separated or lost, they would use the yodeling cry "oh-lady-hoo" to help locate each other. One hunter got lost and yelled "oh-lady-hoo" until he was hoarse but to no avail. When it began to get dark, he gave up trying to find his friends, saw light at a nearby farmhouse, knocked on the front door and asked the farmer if he could stay the night. "No problem," he said, "I've got a spare room you're welcome to use." Toward morning, the hunter was awakened by the farmer's young daughter as she slipped into his bed. In no time at all they were going at it hot and heavy and in a few minutes she had an orgasm. Her cries of ecstasy soon brought an angry father into the bedroom. He had a loaded shotgun and said to the hunter, "You better get dressed real fast' cause you and me are going down to the barnyard to see if you can haul ass fast enough to outrun a load of buckshot!" As soon as they reached the more...

$HOME = /dev/null. 3K RAM free, no EMS. A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world. A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth. A 20th century man... The guy has no future. A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards. A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes. A couple of slates short of a full roof. A couplet short of a sonnet. A cup and saucer short of a place setting. A day late and a dollar short. A deadbolt with a broken cylinder. A doughnut short of being a cop. A few beads short in her rosary. A few beans short of chili. A few beers short of a six-pack / a six-pack short of a case. A few birds shy of a flock. A few blocks short of a filesystem. A few bombs/melons short of a full load. A few bricks short of a wall / hod / load / pile. A few chips short of a cookie. A few clowns short of a circus. A few clues shy of a solution. A few cold solder joints. A few ears short of a bushel. A few feathers short of a whole more...

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."