Just who is Jack Schitt? Finally, the lineage is revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you will be better able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, senior partner of Kneedeep N Schitt Inc.
Subsequently, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple had six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married a high school dropout named Dumb Schitt.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Later, Noe Schitt married Bradley Sherlock. Out of consideration for her children, who were living with them at the time, Noe decided to hyphenate her last name, thus becoming Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and the couple more...
The Real Skywalker Lineage(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down....)
Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father!
Luke: No! It's not true! It's impossible.
Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.
Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
Luke: Threepio? Darth Vader: Yes, C-3PO. I built him - when I was only seven years old.
Darth Vade: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself: No lightsaber, no hand, no job and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the more...