Lightning Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is the similarity between lightning and a violist's fingers?
A: They both never strike the same place twice.
You might not be able to tell by looking at me, but I'm not a handyman. I'm not a fix-it guy at all.
I'm the kind of person that looks at a rolled up piece of pink fiberglass insulation and thinks "Wow, that kinda looks like a big piece of sushi!"
I only know to call it "fiberglass insulation" because I had the opportunity to work along side my father-in-law, a contractor.
Imagine my surprise when one day, we were renovating my house, he turned to me and said "Josh. You hammer like lightning."
I was psyched, until I realized that lightning never hits the same spot twice.
How is lightning like a violist's fingers? Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
Why do raindrops like lightning at night?-So they can see where they are going
There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world.
Well the first guy says, “I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of sound. ”
Well the second guy says, “Well I think I got you beat on that one! I think lightning is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of light and sound. ”
Well the third guy says, “Well I believe i have both of you beat. The brain is the fastest thing in the world, because whenever you need something, it is right there for you. ”
Well the fourth guys clearly states, “Well I have got you all beat! I think the anal sphincter muscle is the fastest thing in the world. ”
The other three guys say really? Why’s that?
And the fourth guys says, “Well I was on a Concord Jet, it got struck by lightning, and I didn’t know what to do … so I more...
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind ofliving thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark."And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time." And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall.The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah."Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had more...