Lecturer Jokes / Recent Jokes
IT`S OFFICIAL: CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN.
October 9, 1995
A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years -- chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.
Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR -- "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour, the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.
The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion.
A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn't know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted, "follow me" .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted, "Don't follow me" and went inside the class...
In the university, the lecturers were entering their classes. Meanwhile, the students were doing their own stuff. When the lecturer said,"Class, attention please!" all of them still did something else. Of course they didn't pay attention because the lecturer asked the CLASS to pay attention!
The new lecturer said no one should be late for his lectures and all must be present before he enters the hall. Within five minutes of the lecture a student enters. When questioned for being late he said he was on Primose Hill.
Within another five minutes another enters the hall and he too replied he was on Primrose Hill as an excuse for his dealy. A few minutes later a female student enters quitely.
The anoyed lecturer, promptly said, "Now don't say that you were also on Primrose Hill. In a soft manner she replied, "No Sir, I am Primrose Hill!"
IT'S OFFICIAL: CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN.
October 9, 1995
A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years -- chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.
Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR -- "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour, the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.
The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion. . . "
Once Upon A Time a man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he
settled in he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the
plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate
would have it she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,
"
Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said,
"
Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in
Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen
sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,
"
What's your business role at this convention?"
She smiled and responded,
"
Lecturer. I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have
learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular
myths about more...
A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on' Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."