Korea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bush declares "Faith is what our strategy in dealing with N. Korea desperately needs. I've said this before. The Democrats just don't understand country music." Democrats responded by decrying Bush's failed "Texas Hold'em" diplomacy and called for the next Secretary of State to be Carrie Underwood.

The United States, in an effort to punish North Korea and make sure nuclear testing never happens again, has ammended Ashley Simpson's "West End" contract to appear in "Chicago" to include a year long run in North Korea. North Korean officials said an apology was imminent.

Kim Jong Il has chosen his 26-year-old son as the next leader of North Korea. To celebrate, North Korea put on a fireworks show. For some reason, however, the fireworks contained Plutonium and were ignited underground.

Seoul, South Korea - North Korea has mounted a rocket on a launchpad on its northeast coast. Pyongyang says the rocket is only used to carry a satellite. Tokyo said, "Yeah right, and Chinese food fills you up for days!"

South Korea is gearing up for the World Cup by giving its toilets an urgent makeover. Officials are thinking big about the smallest room, lavishing expensive decor on lavatories and designing' themed' toilets in a bid to win the title of "Finest Rest Room in Seoul". Korea's "outhouse experience" has long been panned by visiting Westerners.

But the country has now launched the Rest Room movement and is determined visitors will be bowled over by the standard of its lavatories during World Cup 2002. Art shows have even been thrown in lavs, and there is now a guided tour of the city's top 50 conveniences. One top toilet is said to have an "urbane image of high class", with dressing tables, aromatic toilet paper and hair dryers.

Another has an art show, while a government-run loo is designed with a medieval theme and a "castle motif". Plants, colored lighting, ultra-high ceilings, cigarette machines and heavy steel ashtrays are more...

You are immune to the smell of "the kimchi breath." You no longer come to a complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield the right-of-way. You can pick up a single strand of noodles with chopsticks. You ask for more "ko-chu" because the kimchi-chige soup is not hot enough. You enjoy slurping your noodles as loudly as you can. Your back is sore from bowing. You walk down the street holding hands with your buddy. You ask your wife to stand outside with a baseball bat to protect your public parking space in front of the house. You can eat barefooted in a restaurant with a foot in your lap. You can cut in at the front of the line of waiting people with the best of them. You look forward to winter in your off post housing so you can store beer and frozen foods in your bedroom or bathroom. You can fall asleep on the city bus and wake up at your stop. You can shovel in an entire bowl of rice and half a course of Bulkogi into your mouth before you swallow. You rather more...

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and –WHACK!! - knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea. ”
The little guy thinks “GEEZ, ” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden –WHACK– the big guy knocks him down AGAIN and says, “That was a judo chop from Japan. ”
So the little guy has had enough of this… He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and –Bong!!! – bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, “When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears. ”