Rocket Jokes

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    COYOTE "vs" ACME

    Hot 1 year ago

    In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

    Moon Mission

    Hot 4 years ago

    Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over." "Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear." "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?" "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over." "That's right. Over and out." They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage." Hello, Pig 2? Come in please." "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear." "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?" "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program." "That's right, Pig 2. Over and out." An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off more...

    Blonde in space rocket

    Hot 2 years ago

    The NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blond.
    When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us, over."
    "Oink, oink, here Pig1, read you loud and clear"
    "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?"
    "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing, over."
    "That's right. Over and out."
    They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hallo, Pig2, Here Houston, come in please."
    "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."
    "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?"
    "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program."
    "That's right. Over and out."
    An hour later when the rocket has achieved the more...

    Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over.""Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear.""Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?""Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over.""That's right. Over and out."They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage."Hello, Pig 2? Come in please.""Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear.""OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?""Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program.""That's right, Pig 2. Over and out."An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off as more...

    i bought my wife a rocket for christmas "she says what the fuck do i want with a rocket"husband replies"well you wanted space now fuck off"

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