Iowa Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three guys are riding horses.
1 Minnesota man, 1 Iowa man, and 1 Texas man.
Along the way the guy from texas takes out a bottle of wine, takes 1 sip throws it in the air, draws his pistol and shoots it.
The Iowa horseman asked, "Whatchya doin' that fer, thaz good stuff!?!"
The Texan replies, "Well we got plenty of that where I come from."
Later on the Iowa horseman takes out a bottle of whiskey, takes 1 sip, throws it in the air, draws his pistol and shoots it.
And the Minnesotan asked, "Why the hell'd you do that?!?! That's reeeeaaaalll good stuff!"
And the Iowa guy replies, "Oh we got plenty of that where I come from."
So the Minnesotan takes out a can of beer, slams it, shoots the guy from Iowa, and the Texan asked, "Why in the name of the holy father did you do that!?!?!"
The minnesotan replied, "We got plenty of them where i come from!"
(This won't be as funny if you're not from more...
Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa? They couldn't find three wise men!!! Sent by Spencer
Two college friends, one from New York and one from Iowa, come of age during summer break. The New York boy's father presents him with a new pistol. Meantime, the Iowa boy receives a beautiful gold watch.
The next semester in their dorm room, the two boys are showing each other what they got. They each liked what the other one got, so, they traded.
That night, when the New York boy phones home, he tells his father about the watch, and explains that he and Sammy traded.
The father blows his top. "Whats a matta you! You a stupid college kid? Some day, you maybe gonna get married. Then maybe some day you gonna come home and find your wife in bed with another man. What you gonna do then? Look at your watch and say,' How long you gonna be?'"
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The attorney responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here. "
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U. S.; and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. "
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Iowa. We settle small disagreements like this with the Iowa Three-Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is this three-kick Rule? "
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, more...
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Iowa: Just east of Omaha
Iowa: It`s easy to spell
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes. One-armed piano players must perform for free. A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public. It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp. Dubuque Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building. Indianola The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned. Fort Madison The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire. Marshalltown Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants Ottumwa Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.