Instructor Jokes

(A true story from my friend in the Army)
In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school,
the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their
work by the last four digits of their Social Security number. In the
early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the numbers.
"Four-seven-seven-zero?" he asked.
"Here," replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though,
he realized he had mistakenly asked for the wrong paper.
"Seven-zero-seven-five?" asked the instructor.
"Here," repeated the student, gearing for trouble.
"I thought you were four-seven-seven-zero, soldier," spoke the teacher.
"That's right, sir," answered our hero. "I have a nick-number."

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester more...

Some people may think this joke is only funny to "senior citizens." I
think not. My parents heard it at an elder hostel in New Mexico this summer.
Seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so
they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come
home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it.
Some months later, a neighbor approaches the man as he tends the
garden.
Neighbor: Say, Ed, what was the name of the instructor of that memory
course you liked so much?
Ed: Well, it was...hmmm...let me think a minute...
What's the name of that flower, you know, the one that smells so
nice, but has thorns on the stems...?
Neighbor: You mean a rose?
Ed: Yeah, that's it...(shouting toward house) Hey, Rose, what was the
memory course instructor's name?

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say,
"oh geez, better get cracking," and do some gibberish work. Turn it in
a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming, "Andre, Andre, I've got the
secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative.
Use the intregral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left
nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your
answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO
sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the
instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say
to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to more...

1. Turn the radio on. When the instructor's hand reaches to turn
it off, slap his/her hand.
2.Rev the car really high, turn to the instructor, and say with an
evil look, "Buckle Up!"
3.Come dressed in a suit.Before the examiner gets in the car,
ask him/her to put a peice of saran wrap so he doesn't get the
seat dirty.
4. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch
and say, "oops!"
5.Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, "now which
one is the gas again?"
6.Fill your car with beer bottles.
7. After the instructor gets in the car, pop the hood, get out
and the oil.
8. Throughout the entire test, talk about how Aunt Gertrude
smells like mothballs.
9.Swear at everybody on the road.
10. Tell the Registar that you are taking the remidial test.
11. When your at a red light look back and forth between the
light and the person next to you.
12.Beep your horn at more...