Imagination Jokes / Recent Jokes

On Appearance
Excessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris...a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs.
Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male.
T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head.
Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable.
On Dating
If you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to more...

On AppearanceExcessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris... a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs. Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male. T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head. Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable. On DatingIf you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to pass gas, face him.. If you more...

One day Ms. Nelson, a kindergarden teacher, was giving a lesson on imagination. What she would do was hold an item behind her back, give a few descriptions of the item, and ask the kids to guess what it was. First she said to the children "I have something long and yellow behind my back." The kids suggested a pencil. Ms. Nelson said "no, i'm holding a bannana, but I like you all's imagination. Next she said" I have something round and red". Little Johnny stood up and guessed it was a ball. Ms. Nelson told Johnny it was an apple but she liked Johnny's imagination. Johnny had an idea. He told his teacher, "I have something in my pocket that's warm and it has a head on it. Well Ms. Nelson got really upset and told Johnny he was to go to the principal's office for being soo dirty minded. Little Johnny then said," No, Ms. Nelson, it's a quarter, but I LIKE YOU'RE IMAGINATION!!!

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the Boss's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" The Boss asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you've ever had."
"Well," the young man said, "in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination."

A ghost sitting on a tree said to his companion " i am just saved" the other ghost asked " why? What happened?" the first
Ghost replied, "i saw a man below the tree, but he did not see me " the other ghost said, “oh! Idiot there is nothing like
Man in this world. It is all our imagination"

The mother took her young daughter to a psychiatrist and explained to the headshrinker that the girl thought she was a chicken. The doctor soothed her, observing that an overactive imagination is not uncommon in children, and asking how long the girl had suffered from the delusion.
"Almost two years," said the mother.
"Your daughter has imagined she is a chicken for nearly two years?!" the psychiatrist exclaimed. "Why have you waited so long before bringing her in?"
The woman looked embarrassed, then confessed: "We needed the eggs, doctor."

The boss giving you a rough time? Just try these "attainable affirmations," and your work week is sure to fly by!1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.12. As I learn the more...