Horns Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that this month's outing was to be at a dairy farm. Most of them had lived in the city all their lives, and had never seen such a thing.
The day came, and the ladies filed into the rented bus which whisked them off to their destination. On the way, they watched out the windows as the city squalor turned into lovely, unpolluted countryside.
After they arrived, they were greeted by the farmer who invited them to look him up should they have any questions. Myrtle, after looking about, and being amazed by what she saw, stepped into a building and viewed something she thought was quite remarkable. She saw the farmer walk by and hailed him - he sauntered in.
"Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone: "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes more...

Why do cows have horns?
Because their horns don't work!

Aries

The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.

Taurus

The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...

Why do cows have horns? Because their horns don't work!

First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Chi-caw-go, or Cha-ca-ga, depending on if you live North or South of Roosevelt Rd.Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
If you are in Naperville and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chicago has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. We all drive like that.All directions start with, "I-94"... which has no beginning and no end.The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10.
The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and, if you happen to be on the south side, possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with more...