Holmes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and his companion Watson are chasing down a criminal and have come to a time in the chase in which it is too late to head back home and too late to keep traveling after him. Considering that they were in the middle of the woods, Holmes, being as smart as he was, figured that this would happen. He had brought along most of the materials that they would need to go camping.
They set up camp, putting up their tent, making a fire to cook and for the warmth. Soon, they thought it best to go to sleep. In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up, and immediately wakes up Watson.
After Watson awoke he simply said, "Watson my friend, look up and tell me, what do you see?"
After looking up, Watson replies, "Stars, so many stars out there and so far apart that they truly show us how small and miniscule our planet is to the entire universe. Thus showing, that our planet is miniscule, that we are basically nothing. Truly the trifle things that we go more...

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." "And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They hadgone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?""Well, I see thousands of stars.""And what does that mean to you?""Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. Whatdoes it mean to you, Holmes?""To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Sherlock Holmes stood at the Gates of Heaven pulling at his pipe awaiting his turn. "I'll let you in," said St. Peter, gesturing toward the heavenly throngs behind him, "if you'll tell me who among these was the first mortal."
"Elementary, my dear St. Peter," said the great detective, "he's the one without a bellybutton."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

"Watson, you prick. Some fucker has stolen our tent."

Sherlock holmes and dr watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." watson replied, "i see millions and millions of stars." "what does that tell you?" watson pondered for a minute.

“astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, i observe that saturn is in leo. Horologically, i deduce that the time is. approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, i can see that god is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, i suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. "it tells me that someone has stolen our tent."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said,

'Watson, look up. What do you see?'

'Well, I see thousands of stars.'

'And what does that mean to you?'

'Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?'

'To me, it means someone has stolen our tent.'