Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
The Lone Ranger & Tonto are camping in the desert, they have set up thier tent and are asleep.Some hours later, the lone ranger wakes his faithful friend.
"Tonto, look up and tell me what you see"
Tonto replies"Me see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"asks The Lone Ranger.Tonto ponders this for a minute and replies"Astrnomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies playing host to billions of stars & planets.Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.Timewise It appears to be 3:15am.Theologically, it is evidentthe Lord is all powerful and as small insignificant beings we pale in his presence.Meteorologically, we are in for a clear and beautiful day tomorrow with a light easterly breeze in the morning."
"What it tell you Kemo Sabi?"
The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, looking at Tonto in amazement, then says:
"Tonto you F*CKWIT... Someone has stolen our tent."
A man goes onto Stars in there eyes, the audience clap wildley as as he walks onto the stage.
He is greeted by Mathew Kelly who introduces him as "Steve, a mechanic from Manchester". Steve gives a brief description of himself, and Mathew asks, " Who are you going to be tonight Steve?" To which he replies, "Tonight mathew i'm going to be Glen Miller."
Steve turns, walks up the steps, the sliding doors open, and he walks off into the mist... and no ones seen him since.
A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent."
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.