Hill Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Rock Hill, S.C., woman called police and asked them to arrest her son who opened a Christmas present early after being told not to, the Rock Hill Herald reported. Police went to the house and arrested the boy and charged him with petty larceny.
Mom better sleep with one eye open.
"Kerry and Edwards are taking a stroll around Capitol Hill when he meets a little girl carrying a small basket with a blanket over it.Curiously, Kerry asks the girl, "What's in the basket?"She replies, "New baby kittens," and she opens the basket to show him."How nice" says Kerry. "What kind are they?"The little girl says, "Democrats." Kerry smiles and pats the little girl on the head, and they continue on.About three weeks later, Kerry, walking around Capitol Hill with another Congressional colleague, sees the same little girl again with the same basket.Kerry says to his colleague, "Watch this; it's very cute". As they
approach the little girl. Kerry asks the girl, "How are the kittens?"She says, "Fine."He then asks, "Again, what kind of kittens are they?"This time she replies, "Republicans."Somewhat abashed, Kerry says, "Three weeks ago you said they were more...
A blonde was seated next to a lawyer on a plane and he kept bugging her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, he offered her 10 to 1 odds. "Each time you're unable to answer one of my questions," he explained, "you owe me $5.00. Each time I can't answer one of your questions, I'll give you $50.00." Reluctantly, the blonde agreed to play.
"What's the distance between Earth and the nearest star?" asked the lawyer.
Without even saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.00. She then asked him a question, "What goes up a hill with three legs, but comes back down the hill with four legs?"
Baffled, the lawyer grabbed his laptop and took several hours looking up everything he could, even going so far as to make several air-to-ground phone calls, in an attempt to find the answer.
Angry and frustrated, he finally gave up and handed her $50.00, which she immediately put in her purse.
"So, what's the answer to your question?" more...
Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Wolfpack says, "I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.
The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, "POOF" there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.
The Blue Devil says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Blue Devil more...
Alp: One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European skier on a U.S. mountain. An appropriate reply: "What Zermatter?" Avalanche: One of the few actual perils skiers face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport. See also: Blizzard, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse. Bindings: Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from potentially serious injury during a fall by releasing skis from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers, and so on and on, eventually causing the entire slope to be protected from serious injury. Bones: There are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: TWO bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a skiing accident. Cross-Country Skiing: Traditional Scandinavian all-terrain snow-travelling technique. It's good exercise. It doesn't require the purchase of costly lift tickets. It has no crowds or lines. It more...
the school bell ran than a kid walked is then the teacher asked where wher you he sead i was on strw barry hill then after 10 minits later a nether kid came in so the techer asked where wer you he sead i was on straw barry hill thenafter 20 minits later anether kid comes in and yhe teacher askeds where wher you and he ses i was on strobarry hill then a little gril come in and the teacher askeds how are you she ses im strabarry hill
Panting and perspiring, two blondes on a tandem bicycle at last got to the top of a steep hill.
"That was a steep climb," said the first blonde.
"It certainly was," replied the second. "It's a good thing we kept the brake on so we wouldn't have slid backwards."