Hair Jokes / Recent Jokes

Nair usage

Hot 6 years ago

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The veterinarian told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she could go to the store for 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in its ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drugstore and gets some Nair. At the register, the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady responds: "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days." The lady answers: "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist says: "In that case, stay off your bicycle for a week."

What I Want In A Man!

Hot 7 years ago

(Age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates the finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
(Age 32)
1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
4. Listens more then he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers anniversaries
10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week
(Age 42)
1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punch line of more...

Hair Remover

Hot 6 years ago

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest, to whom she said, "Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?"
"Of course! What can I do for you?"
"Here's the problem... I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"
"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I will not lie."
"You have such an honest face, Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions," and she gave him the hair remover.
The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son," he more...

No Pubic Hair?

Hot 7 years ago

A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms.When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair.The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there."The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"

Punk Rocker

Hot 5 years ago

A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading, ''Keep off the grass.'' After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said, ''Sorry, had to mow the lawn.''

Patriotism

Hot 7 years ago

A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters.
They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly.
"Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali.
"Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same.
They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar's ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names.
The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala more...

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge
for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and
walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
say a word... he knew better.