Guessed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

Miss Jones is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Dollly, had brought a gift up to her desk.
"Guess what it is!" said Dolly.
Knowing that Dolly's father owned a bookstore she guessed, "A Book?"
"How did you know?" asked Dolly
Next, Robert brought a gift up to Miss Smith. "Guess what it is!" said Robert.
Knowing that his parents owned a florist shop, she guessed, "Flowers?"
"How did you know ?" asked Robert
Finally, Johnny brought up a gift for Miss Smith.
"Guess what it is!" said Johnny.
Knowing that Johnny's father owned a liquor store, and seeing that the bag was wet, she placed her fingers on the liquid and then licked them.
"Rum?" guessed Miss Smith.
"No" said Johnny.
She tasted again..."Vodka?" she guessed.
"No" said Johnny.
Once again she wet her more...

There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a redneck customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time".
Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time".
As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away more...

There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase it's sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time".
Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time".
As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give more...

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 115 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
"I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

edJoe took his blonde blind date to a seaside carnival.
'What would you like to do first, Kim?' asked Joe.
'I want to get weighed,' she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser, who guessed 70 kg. Kim got on the scale and it read 67 kg and she won a prize. .
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over,
Joe again asked Kim what she wanted to do next.
'I want to get weighed,' she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went and because she'd been there before the man guessed Kim's correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.
Kim and Joe walked around the carnival and again he asked,
'Where to next?'
Kim responded: 'I want to get weighed,' but by this time Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her flatmate, Laura, asked Kim about her blind date, 'How'd it go?' she asked.
Kim said, 'Oh, Waura, it was wousy.'

Jim took his blind date, Kelly, to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kelly?" Jim asked.
"I want to get weighed," Kelly said, so they went over to the weight guesser. He guessed 125 pounds. Kelly got on the scale, it read 122 and she won a prize.
Next, they went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jim again asked Kelly what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," Kelly replied.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had already been there, he guessed her weight correctly and Jim lost his dollar.
They walked around the carnival and again, Jim asked her what she would like to do next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Jim thought she was really weird and took her home, dropped her off and ended the evening with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date. "How did it go?" asked Laura.
"Oh, Waura, it was wousy!" Kelly more...