Grep Jokes

You know you have been on the computer too long when...When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, A, B, C, D...".When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're more...

you better! pout! cry you better watchout lpr why santa claus < north pole > towncat /etc/passwd > list ncheck list ncheck list cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist cat list | grep nice > giftlist santa claus < north pole > townwho | grep sleeping who | grep awake who | egrep' bad | good' for (goodness sake) { be good } santa claus < north pole > town

You know you have been on the computer too long when...

When you are counting objects, you go "0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D...".

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.

When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"

When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"

When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.

When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you more...

You know you have been on the computer too long when... When you are counting objects, you go "0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D...". When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause. When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page. When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number. When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one. When you go to balance your checkbook and more...

An absolute masterpiece of "Santa Claus is coming to town" translated into Unix Shell Script.
better watchout
better ! cry
better ! pout
lpr why
santaclaus town
cat >list /etc/passwd
ncheck list
ncheck list
grep >nogiftlist naughty list
grep >giftlist nice list
santaclaus town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | grep bad|good
for (goodness sake) {be good}