Function Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Researching this insect

    Hot 3 years ago

    A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"

    JehovaScript

    Hot 2 years ago

    The next generation embeddable scripting language for the web!
    JehovaScript (JS) is a powerful language with many advantages over
    current scripting systems. Its features include active alerts, a
    miracle system and error-collection. Rather than being defined as
    DOM-compliant, object-oriented or nth-generation, JS is
    Buzzword-Compliant, so your place at the forefront of technology is
    guaranteed regardless of trend-changes in the world of computing.
    Main features
    Miracles
    Each run of a JS program is entitled to three miracles. This allows
    you to deal gracefully with unexpected problems: you can create the
    needed RAM if memory allocation fails, or temporarily change the
    user's browser if the current browser does not support a certain
    feature of the language.
    Polymorphic constants
    Rather than create specialized logic for different situations, you can
    change the interpreters beliefs about constants. For example, the more...

    1. If you have no life - and you can prove it mathematically.2. If you enjoy pain.3. If you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.4. If you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."5. If you've actually used every single function on your graphing
    calculator.6. If it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.7. If you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."8. If you always do homework on Friday nights.9. If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.10. If you think in "math."11. If you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.12. If you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.13. If you have a pet named after a scientist.14. If you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.15. If the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.16. If you can more...

    1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception and judgement oft exceed thine. 2. Thou shalt not follow the NULL pointer, for chaos and madness await thee at its end. 3. Thou shalt cast all function arguments to the expected type if they are not of that type already, even when thou art convinced that this is unnecessary, lest they take cruel vengeance upon thee when thou least expect it. 4. If thy header files fail to declare the return types of thy library functions, thou shalt declare them thyself with the most meticulous care, lest grievous harm befall thy program. 5. Thou shalt check the array bounds of all strings (indeed, all arrays), for surely where thou typest ''foo'' someone someday shall type ''supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''. 6. If a function be advertised to return an error code in the event of difficulties, thou shalt check for that code, yea, even though the checks triple the size of thy code and produce aches in more...

    A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").
    In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."
    So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."
    Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."
    Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"

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